Too often you hear the sad tale of a husband and wife arguing as one spouse works to care for their aging parents. Seeing the picture from both sides it is easy to understand why such arguments occur. One spouse feels neglected by the other because it seems all of their time is spent caring for their parents. The other spouse feels unsupported as tensions rise because they are trying to care for their loved ones. Here are 3 tips to help you keep your relationship with your spouse strong during this time.
Remember your marriage vows
This might sound like odd advice, but remembering a vow or a promise can keep things in perspective. If your vows were like mine, you probably remember saying something like, “I promise to love you and support you for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health.” The intent of that promise wasn’t just to support for those conditions, the intent was to promise to support each other.
As you remember that promise it will help you to remember your role to support your spouse. Talk with each other often about what you can do to support each other.
Make time for each other
The number one reason someone feels neglected is because the other person doesn’t make time for them. Time with each other is one of the ways we show our love for each other. If all of your time is going to the care of your aging parents, your spouse will feel neglected. Consider ways together with your spouse that you can dedicate time for each other. Lay out a schedule that you can agree to and stick to that schedule.
Seek outside professional help
When problems are so big or complex to solve on your own, seek outside professional help. That could mean seeking help from a counselor to help improve your relationship with your spouse. That could also mean seeking help for the care of your aging parents. It could also mean a little of both.
At Aging Solutions, we specialize in helping couples and families address care issues for aging loved ones. Our team can be part of your solution to caring for your parents and keeping your marriage relationship strong. Request to talk with one of our care managers to see how we can help.